We are recognition hunger» 1
Signs of Recognition and Building Trust
Éric Berne defines a Sign of Recognition as "any act involving the recognition of another's presence" 2. This act acknowledges the other person's right to belong and be part of a group, establishing their legitimacy.
A Sign of Recognition goes beyond being a mere need; it is a necessity linked to our social identity. Our social identity arises from our sense of belonging, and we actively seek out groups and communities that accept us and contribute to our self-esteem.
Self-esteem is closely tied to our belief that we possess values and abilities that align with our culture. It is nurtured through interactions with the groups we belong to.
Self-esteem reflects the value we place on ourselves based on the reflection we receive from the groups and communities we are a part of, such as our company and colleagues 3.
From self-esteem, confidence emerges—a psychological state that allows us to face the future with more significant serenity. Signs of recognition and confidence share a strong connection, fostering self-confidence, trust in peers, and trust in authority.
In a company, these three types of trust are crucial for developing and maintaining motivation. Individuals with a strong capacity for self-evaluation require fewer external signals to develop self-esteem and confidence. This internal reference further reinforces trust in oneself, sometimes to the extent of severing the rational link with criticism or signs of divergence.
Eric Berne also discusses the creation of games that increase the reception of signs of recognition. For instance, in certain relationships, a mini-ceremonial connivance is validated by both parties, strengthening recognition and the sense of belonging.
However, an excessive search for signs of recognition, known as Hyper 4, can lead to compensatory behavior that replaces a healthy attitude but is "forbidden" within the individual's value system. It is important to exercise moderation and respect when considering signs of recognition, ensuring they respond to specific realities rather than becoming systematic.
Under these conditions, trust can flourish—trust in oneself, the team, and the manager. Laurent Combalbert, a professional negotiator with the RAID, defines five types of business confidence:
Self-confidence, team confidence, hierarchical confidence, confidence in the mission, and confidence in the story 5.
Confidence in the mission pertains to the project's ambitions and the resources allocated to it. Confidence in the story is linked to the company's and the group's experience in similar situations.
Combalbert emphasizes that "uncertainty is the rule." Accepting uncertainty, an inherent part of professional life is crucial. Confidence stems from the ability to adapt to unexpected events; teamwork and cohesion play vital roles in this process.
During times of crisis, a "tectonics of issues" 6 will test the commitment and loyalty of team members. Disagreements and differences of opinion can potentially disrupt unity. Trust and ego will be put to the test.
Conflict, although generally disliked, is an inevitable part of life. The goal is to keep conflicts at the level of confrontation and prevent them from escalating into confrontations. Confrontation occurs within a defined context, with rules and arbitration, while confrontation exceeds boundaries and involves violence and a loss of control.
Validating confrontation is important because employees may not feel heard without it, leading to a perceived lack of value and respect for their opinions. This diminishes the sense of fairness. As Eric Berne explains, every instance of injustice adds another "stamp" to the victim's collection, which may result in a confrontation sooner or later.
To maintain trust, it is crucial to accept confrontation.
When confidence is high, speed increases and cost decreases7
In any company, leadership is the skill that most concentrates the demand for trust.
- 1
Berne, E. (1970). Sex in Human Loving, Simon and Schuster, New York
- 2
Berne Éric, Des jeux et des hommes. Psychologie des relations humaines, Paris, Stock, 1975
- 3
Diez Robert, Carton Pierre, « De la reconnaissance à la motivation au travail », L'Expansion Management Review, 2013/3 (N° 150), p. 104-112. DOI : 10.3917/emr.150.0104. URL : https://www.cairn.info/revue-l-expansion-management-review-2013-3-page-104.htm
- 4
diminutif de Hyperfonctionnement en thérapie neurocognitive et comportementale.
- 5
Combalbert, Laurent; Mery, Marwan. Les 5 leviers de la confiance (EYROLLES) (French Edition) . Eyrolles.
- 6
Combalbert, Laurent; Mery, Marwan. Les 5 leviers de la confiance (EYROLLES) (French Edition) . Eyrolles.
- 7
Covey, Stephen M.R.; Merrill, Rebecca. La Vitesse De La Confiance (French Edition) . Mango Media.